march 13th

i read this journal entry this morning and thought that i would share it. . .

today as i went to visit wilben's at his house, he was just getting ready to eat. he was the only one of the six or seven children eating. there was no gathering around a table, no laughter, as siblings make fun of each other. he merely sat there in front of a steaming bowl of some type of thick broth and yams. there was probably very little nutritional value in the food he was eating. he was sitting on a dirt floor. he was sitting because he can't run around like the other kids. he has degenerative spina bifida. he can't walk and is over two years old.

i brought him and his family some cookies. an extremely small thing but the children were extremely excited to have them. the youngest sibling hardly able to walk toddled from person to person sharing bites of her cookie with each of them. her little yellow t-shirt had holes in it, it was the only piece of clothing she had on. actually as i realized that i saw all the kids only had a shirt on, their hair was orange on the tips (a sign of malnutrition).
i then began to really look at the house i was sitting in. i was sitting on a dirt floor, this family lives from day to day probably not knowing where their food will come from. this child who i have grown to care for will probably die from a preventable infection because he can't get the care he needs. all the sudden i was struck with how wrong it was. the whole situation. i was struck with how helpless i was to really help them. tears came to my eyes. i am helpless, but somehow God is in control. It is something i don't completely understand.

Se Segne (a haitian hymn) is drifting across the meadow of this place - another church is having a revival. i know why haitians sing so much. to take their minds and eyes off this place, this time, to focus them on Christ, to put their hope in him. Because without him there truly is nothing, nothing to hope for.