packing. . .

the process begins. . .

i have started packing for my upcoming trip. i leave on the 13th of january to return to haiti and also will move out of my house and so the idea of packing and having everything ready to go before that date is lots of work!! but one thing at a time and i am getting it done!

i spent a wonderful christmas with my family and am looking foward to an amazing new year. i hope you can say the same in your life. benton and calianna were such a joy to spend time with - i got lots of cuddle and nap time with benton!!

benton and calianna. . .

my sister had her second child on nov. 7th. little benton michael has joined our family and he is so sweet!! i spent a couple days this week with these two. i think the best thing i liked about them is that they cuddle and take naps (a great combo deal!!). i am not sure my sister was impressed with my napping abilities when there was laundry to be done! but they truly were a blessing to spend time with and i am very thankful for both of them in my life!

favorite people. . .

while i was in haiti i did a blog that was a few of my favorite things. one of those was coke in a glass bottle, i truly miss those things, but even more than that i miss these people. these are a few of my favorite people.

this is angela. my special little one who came that late night with her face all bitten up by a rat. she has the cutest deep laugh. . .

this is nirva and lorette, two of our nurses who have their birthdays in the same week, so we had some cake. . .

this is anne and kensia peaking out of their fathers little shop where he sells cokes and sodas so he can help send them to school. they are special because i was there when kensia was born 5 years ago. what cuties. i miss their hugs. . .

i guess loving people means that you will miss them, especially when they are some of your favorite people.

sowing hope. . .

the poverty in haiti at times can be extremely overwhelming.

realizing that there are children who wear one shirt almost everyday, that they perhaps eat once a day, that there is no way for them to go to school, that if they get sick, their parents can't afford to take them to the hospital. . . those things weigh heavily on my heart and mind.

i know that God created us to live abundant lives, and at times there is such a sharp contrast between the lives He created for us and the lives many people are living. although the medical aspect of what i do in haiti meets so many needs, i also feel very burdened to in some way work to improve the lives of some women who are striving everyday to meet the needs of their children. so an idea was born. i had some flannel fabric my mom had given me to make baby blankets for layettes. i ironed the edges of the material in baby blanket sized pieces and taught three women how to stitch the edges. i was able to pay them a small amount for each blanket they completed. they were very excited for an opportunity to have a small amount of money for their family. i don't know exactly what this will become, but it is my desire in some way to sow hope into their lives, that others care about them, that others see their needs and want to be a part of changing and improving their lives. it is small, but isn't that were everything starts?

progress. . .

here are a couple pictures of sonel from after i left when the surgical team was able to take care of some of his more medical problems. the awesome aspect of being involved in his care was how many people were able to get involved and really get some significant things accomplished for his life. dr. del the orthopedic surgeon who comes with the surgical team brought a back brace that will better support sonel's back especially in the area where he had his fracture. the team was able to operate on his pressure ulcers and hopefully have them closed. i really hope and pray that his ulcers will heal completely. thanks so much for praying for him and please keep it up!! the bottom picture is him and his dad sleeping in his bed in the recovery room of the OR.

determination. . .

this is sonel a couple days before i left getting into his wheelchair by himself. i am struck my his determination to be able to do this. i had told him a few weeks before that someday when his arms got stronger he would be able to get into his chair himself. i didn't think it would be that soon for him to be able to do it. but he was determined and did a great job, a little pulling on his stomach and then he turned himself around. there are days when i get frustrated or discouraged, or perhaps don't have the willpower to accomplish what needs to happen. this is such a great reminder and inspiration to continue to push on!

i will try to write a bit more about his story and what has happened for him since i have left haiti soon. . .

things that matter. . .

one early morning as i made the trek to see sonel i was thinking, about all the things that needed to be done. the "to do list" in my head seemed to grow as i continued up the hill to check on him.

that particular morning i was going early because i had taken out his catheter and was wanting to see if he had gone the bathroom through the night and i was prepared to teach his aunt or father how to straight cath him if needed. unfortunately he had pain through the night from his bladder not emptying and as i began to think about how to even show his aunt how to complete a clean straight catheterization in their dirt floor home with absolutely no running water i realized that wasn't the best idea. i replaced his foley catheter and headed on my walk home, back to thinking about the things i needed to do. . .

it was in the midst of this thought process that a little one in her bright red and blue school uniform came up beside me and grabbed my hand. it is very normal in haiti while you are walking that children will walk alongside you for a time, so this was no suprise to me. i did slow my pace, i looked around more realizing all the children as they were heading off to school, some were siblings holding hands, others friends teasing and joking with each other. i looked down and asked this little girl walking alongside me what her name was. she didn't respond and it was then i realized she was deaf. she had the most beautiful smile, a countenance of joy! i slowed my pace even more as we climbed up a hill on the way, me on my way to face a day filled with challenges and her on the way to have an opportunity to learn from the deaf school at the mission. it will be a long time before i forget the lesson i learned that morning. that it is more important what is going on along the way rather than the destination. the lives you interact with and the relationships are actually the most important part of your journey.

i wish i had a picture of the cute little one who walked alongside me that morning. i don't. but i do have many others of children in haiti who mean so much to me. children in haiti are cherished by their parents who want to be able to give them a good education, feed them, to cloth them, to meet their needs. parents there dream in the same way parents here do, they dream about their children growing up, becoming doctors, nurses, artists. i realized that morning why jesus talked about letting the little children come unto him. because they matter! they remind us to slow our lives, to see the journey for what it is, a walk with a friend for that time. i can't begin to say how grateful i am to friends who have and continue to walk through this life with me.

(the above pictures are of ceremond (one of the haitian workers whose wife is also one of our housekeepers) and their daugthers - anne and kensia. i was there five years ago when kensia was born. the other picture is john wendy - one of sonels cousins who just had a great personality!! he is straightening a nail with a rock.)

party time. . .

the work that is done on a day to day basis in haiti especially at the birthing center is impossible without our haitian staff. we have 6 housekeepers and 9 nurses. they run the day to day clinic and birthing center. i know they can become discouraged, life is hard in haiti. every day they are faced with challenges, they have mothers come who have no money to even buy food or don't bring anything with them such as sheets and baby clothes. our staff at northwest face each day with such grace. i am so grateful to them, so we had appreciation parties the last week i was there. the above picture is of the housekeepers and the below picture is of some of our nursing staff. they loved to just be able to be together, to eat cookies, to get a small gift, but most of all i think they cherished being told they are appreciated. they truly are women who have taught me so much in life, i was grateful to be able to show them in a small way the great contribution they make!

more to come. . .

i am actually home at my house in kansas city now!! yeah! i had a wedding this weekend and have been spending a bit of time with my sister. . . so there is more to come about my haiti trip as soon as i get unpacked!!

home. . .

i have arrived safely home from haiti. the last few days in haiti were a bit crazy with the arrival of the surgical team and getting everything together for me to take off. my travels went great other than one rearranged flight to arrive back in kansas city around 11 last night. i will keep sharing stories here about my trip and experiences that i hadn't had the opportunity to share. so keep reading. i will miss this little cutie above, he is maxin, one of sonel's cousins. his little smile brightened my days!

simple. . .

i was struck today with the difference in my life and the lives of so many people here. this little girl is dipping rain water out of a puddle into a bucket to use. i realized that my life is very different from that. although life here is hard, simplicity is beautiful.

please be in prayer for loucinda. she is 6 months old and is a very special little one here who is sick with an extremely high fever 104-105 and diarrhea. her parents are t-man and clenide, i have known them since before they were dating. i was there when clenide lost her first baby, and then she has lost another one and carried loucinda only because she was very careful and rested all the time. loucinda had seizures after she was born and was able to go to the states for evaluation and has already been through alot in her short life. i know t-man and clenide are very worried for her. tonight when i went to check on her after we gave her tylenol and ibuprofen her temperature had come down to 100.4. they live just down the street from the mission and clenide is a nurse, so they may bring her tonight if she gets worse, but i pray she doesn't.

sonel

please keep sonel in your prayers. today one of his pressure ulcers looked the worst they have looked. not sure what happened to make it worse or what to do to help it get better. . . thanks

far west. . .

this weekend a few of us took off to go spend the weekend with miss pat in the far west. . .

it was truly a great time. for me it was a great encouragement. just to be able to be in the quiet country side. (well maybe not really all that quiet because around three in the morning one night while i was sleeping on the porch i heard what i thought was a dog next to me crunching on bones or something, it turned out to be a pig eating rocks.) anyway. . .

i was able to do clinic for miss pat on monday which was such a blessing for me. for me it was simple, sometimes here in st. louis there are so many people and things going on that it can be overwhelming. it was great to just see a few patients, get them medication and talk and laugh with them. (the above picture)

the afternoon on monday another couple here had been to a beautiful beach there in the far west, so off we went a few at a time on the four wheeler to this amazing beach! our time at the beach was cut short by a rain storm that we tried to ride out, but then the thunder started and off we went back to miss pat's. where we were stuck, due to lots of mud and a high river which no one could get across to come get us. so instead we headed out this morning and tap-tapped to the river, took a little boat across and then walked to the next tap-tap station to get home. (a tap-tap is the local tranportation - open flat bed trucks with benches around the edges)

right before the second storm monday i went for a walk and found these flowers. they were so beautiful. it always amazes me how beauty can still be found even amidst such poverty that exists here. it makes me think of the human spirit, that it will prevail. that there is beauty in every thing, every day, every person. sometimes you just have to look.

The last few days have been challenging in that the generator has been going on and off, on and off. That makes the internet more difficult to use.

It has been completely awesome to see how God has worked through people and in Sonel’s life and how things are coming together for him. Just to name a few. . .

· A couple of the guys here rigged up a pull bar over his bed so he could move easier.
· It seems every day that I go change his dressings that he is able to move more effectively than the day before.
· I have heard from many people with ideas about how to help treat his ulcers.
· I have heard from physical therapists about what exercises to do or not to do with him.
· One therapist is working on getting in touch with a pediatric orthopedic surgeon who comes to Haiti
· I just heard that a wheelchair cushion has been donated and it will come with the October surgical team.
· We have a brace coming with the orthopedic surgeon who is also coming with the surgical team.
· Others are going to bring Sonel some activities for him while he is unable to move around as easily.

Today we started out on our walk a bit early because we were going to try to beat the rain. Unfortunately we were right in the middle of it! So we went slipping and sliding in the mud and everyone was talking about us and laughing with and at us! When we got there all soaking wet, Sonel told us that he wasn’t happy with us at all because we came in the rain, that we didn’t need to have gotten wet! Matt one of the interns here took a new chair to Sonel, which was a challenge, but Matt was determined. This chair was much better because the leg rests are better and the back leans back and that way it is easier for Sonel to sit in for longer periods of time. His ulcers appear to be slowing healing. It can be the slow part that is hard for me, I want them to be better tomorrow, but at least they are getting better.

I am praying that God works in the same way for Claudette (the housekeeper from the birthing center) whose house burned this week. Basically about $1,000 will completely finish her new house, get doors and windows in and she will be able to have a new and much nicer place to live. We have about $200 committed and so have started to get her doors and hopefully she can move in soon!

(I wrote this yesterday. The top picture is Sonel, Me and his cousin John Wendy who is completely adorable!! The bottom picture is Sonel after he got his new bar.)

claudette

for some reason my computer and i are not getting along tonight. i can't get any pictures uploaded. so i will write more later, possibly do a post tomorrow. depending on our generator which has been having fits today. i just wanted to ask for prayers for claudette.

she is one of the housekeepers in the birthing center. she has had a new house built for her this summer, but hasn't moved into it yet because it still needs doors and windows. and this morning she told me that the house she is living in had a fire.

i just looked at her. this woman has been through so much in the last couple years, i could hardly believe it. a few of us went to the house that burned and saw her meager belongings all strewn about and smelled the smoke from the night before. there was a pile of ashes that had been some of her families clothes that were in a suitcase. there was a mattress that was completely ruined. there were a few pieces of clothing they were able to salvage so that her children could still go to school in their uniforms. that was one of her biggest concerns this morning, that her children weren't going to be able to go to school.

better!!

this is little miss willangina much better today. her IV came out today and instead she got two shots in the legs for her antibiotic and let me tell you she DID NOT like them. but i was really glad to see her getting so mad!! yesterday she was almost unresponsive most of the day, so crying and kicking and screaming never sounded so good. thanks for your prayers!

whirlwind. . .

i haven't posted in a few days because things have been a bit crazy!

this little one has been part of it. her name is willangina. wednesday morning she was so dehydrated that she hardly responded to our attempts to start an IV on her. one of our resident physicians and a lab tech and i were basically all sticking her. she finally responded when i stuck her in the scalp. i was able to get her IV by no skill of my own, and we started running in fluids and a few hours later she opened her eyes and began to move again. she is still rather sick and we can't figure out exactly what is going on with her.

two of our main nurses are gone with family emergencies this week. one, magdala, had a niece who died in a car accident and the had to go to port-au-prince and the other sylveste had a daughter who was extremely sick and in the hospital. so things have been a bit crazy with both of them gone. i am so thankful to God that sylveste's daughter is better. i went to visit her today in the hospital and sylveste was talking about how sick she was that they were putting ice over her whole body and her temperature just kept going up and up. . . she had typhoid! it seems to be going around, it could be what willangina has. . . who knows it doesn't show up on testing usually for a week or so. we have a mom who had her baby monday night and tested positive for typhoid today, she has been with us since then and even last night still had a fever of 102.2.

needless to say i am washing my hands alot!

ups and downs. . .

the last couple times i have been to sonels to change his dressings he has mentioned how the floor he was laying on was so hard. (he is the guy who fell from the mango tree in june) i couldn't blame him for saying that i know he wanted a bed, but he didn't ask. he was laying on a piece of carpet on a dirt floor. no wonder he has horrible pressure ulcers. it is so hard to lean down and change his dressings, move him, or get him into his wheelchair from the floor. so yesterday we made the trek to his house. i had some help because i don't think there was anyway i could have carried a bedframe or mattress to his house. two guys carried a bed for him up and down the hills to his house!

matt (an intern here) carried the frame, ceremond one of the haitians who works here carried the bed, and erin and i went along to encourage them!!

before and after

a life well lived. . .

what really do our lives consist of?

what is the measure of success?

i have been thinking about this since spending friday and saturday with miss pat in the far west. miss pat has lived in haiti for over 25 years. she just started a mission in the far west about 3 years ago. she is in her seventies. (i won't tell exactly how old :)!) many of us at her age would be looking at how we can be wrapping up our lives, not how we can start a new mission. she always has and continues to meet each day and face the challenges it holds, to meet each person where they are and do what she can for them. she sees around 20 patients a day in a small clinic, has a feeding program for the elderly in her area, and has started a kindergarten. there is hardly a person in this area who probably wasn't influenced by her life here in haiti one way or another. i can't but help think that she has lived life well.

these little guys were at the bottom of the stairs yesterday looking up and calling - rolgard, rolgard!! this is john, stephen and den. they are three children who stay in our home for disabled children. they can't talk, but each of them are able to make the sounds to call for rolgard one of their caregivers who does therapy with them. to me that shows that he has shown them love and compassion, that he has touched their lives. his is a live well lived.

i hope that each day i can look back and say that i have accomplished that day what was set before me. i hope that when i look back over my life it will be with the mindset that it was a life well lived. not what program i have started or ran, but more whose lives i have been involved with. whether they were shown love, gentleness, patience, kindness. if i had lived with goodness, peace and joy. i hope that mine can be a life well lived.

this journey. . .

This trail is part of the walk that takes you to Sonel's house. (He is the guy who fell from the tree in June.)

Today as we walked to go change Sonel's dressing and check on him, I started thinking about what our lives are like. That we walk down many paths, some chosen wisely and others not so wisely.

I think this mindset was perpetuated because I had a visitor after lunch. It was someone who I care about and have known here in Haiti for years. I have walked throuhg life with him as he lost his wife to probably AIDS and TB and then the loss of his infant son who was HIV positive and finally testing the father and he was positive. We have had talks about what this means to the rest of his life, living HIV positive. Sometimes when I come he is sicker than others, sometimes better, always thinner.

Today after lunch he wanted to introduce me to his new Madam who was four months pregnant. He was excited. I wasn't. I didn't know what to do or say. I gave her some vitamins and told her that she must come for prenatal care. I hope and pray that care doesn't reveal that she is also now HIV positive. But who knows.

We all make choices. I don't know if my response to this news was what it should have been. I didn't say much. But I know that the continued journey with this person will be hard and I am praying for wisdom for how to walk alongside him.

I am heading to the far west tomorrow for Friday and Saturday so I won't post for a few days.

a few of my favorite things. . .

a beautiful flowering bush. especially in the midst of a place where beaty can so easily be overlooked, yet it still flourishes.

a cold coke after a long walk in the mountains.

children who make me laugh and smile. this is gerry!

the mountains that surround me here

whew. . .

today was one of those days where it is evening and i am not exactly sure what happened to the day, some of them seem to pass so quickly. . .

i am so impressed almost everyday by the people of haiti. we live in america with health insurance, car insurance, renters insurance, life insurance, on and on. we have banking accounts, savings accounts. . . people here live day to day. i am so impressed by a mother who doesn't completely lose her mind because she doesn't know how she is going to feed her children next week, or how she is going to send her children to school. she still smiles and sings to them and loves them like any mother would. a father who will carry his newly paralyzed son for care and doesn't ask, what will he be able to do in the future, but cares so gently for him. i can't believe the spirit that people here live with, what they face day after day. they teach me so many lessons, about endurance, about faith, about living for today! i try to remember what their lives are like when i get frustrated by being asked for things, everything from my shoes to surgery for a child. . . i try to remember that they may see this as their only chance. with that in mind i try to respond as best and as patiently as i can.

sylveste (in this picture) is one of our nurses who led us in devotions the last couple mornings. she is one who i am completely amazed by her life here in haiti. she has an amazing singing voice, she emits strenght and power from deep within her when she sings. i know that she has been singing for a long time, will continue to do so and i can't wait to hear her singing in heaven.

a walk in the mountains. . .

this afternoon, maureen, erin and i all set out to visit sonel. he is a 15 year old who had fallen from a mango tree when i was here last. i had seen him a couple days after his fall and wasn't sure that he would live. he had a horrible fever and his stomach was hard! he hadn't been able to move his legs. erin and maureen had been trying to help care for him, they have a wheelchair for him and have been taking care of his bedsores. we were going to go visit and see how he was doing. he is in great spirits. talking and laughing. this is his little cousin in the picture above pearing around the corner to check out the "blancs" who had come to visit. the house they live in is thatched wood. we got there and sonel was laying on the dirt floor on his mat. no beds, no real furniture to speak of. his father brought one small chair for us and another small bench type thing and a sack of something for our chairs. his father had brought him to the mission a few days ago to have his dressings changed. as we climbed up and down hills i could believe how they could have gotten sonel out from there. his father said that he has taken his wheelchair out first and then carried sonel. i really don't know what is going to happen with sonel, he has some pretty serious skin infections, but i do pray that he is no longer in pain. one of his cousins had caught two little birds and tied them with some plastic strands around their legs to be with sonel.

tonight around five it started pouring rain. almost like we were in some type of hurricane (ok i may be exagerrating a bit!) but it was raining with lots of wind. as we kinda rushed around here making sure windows were closed and things were put away, i couldn't help but think of sonel there on the dirt floor in a house with no windows and really no doors. i take so much for granted. . .

Yeah! I am here in Haiti. I made it yesterday afternoon after I truly had one of the best trips from home to here that I have had in years. Thanks for your prayers. It only took me five hours to get from Kansas to Miami. I don't know how long it has been that I haven't had delayed flights, missing luggage or spent the night sleeping in a cold airport, so to say the least, I was very excited to be in my hotel room by nine thirty that night!

The above picture is of course of miss Angela. (For those who don't know, she is the little one who came to the mission in Feb. after she had been bitten by a rat on her face, her mother has died from AIDS and her father can't take care of her.) I was trying to figure out how old she is now and I am thinking around nine months. At times she is very responsive and then at others she still has times where she is seizing. I was thinking that she was possibly doing better, but today while I was holding her, she tensed up and closed her eyes and one of her arms gets all straight. I don't really know exactly what kind of seizures these are? Then she opens her eyes again and looks only one way and then gains back control of her eyes. It is kinda scary! I would greatly appreciate prayers for her!

torrential rain. . .

This afternoon my mother and I headed to Jacksonville, IL to get medical supplies from In His Service. It is always great to go there and see friends who I have served in Haiti with! It is always hard for me to be able to stop though and not fill my bags too full!!

We ended up driving through pouring rain, but at least it wasn't as bad as the last couple times I have gone with my mother. Once my car stalled out due to the horrible rain and the other time we ended up basically driving through a tornado. Hmmm, perhaps my mom and I should not travel to Jacksonville together. But she really does make great company!!

Thanks so much Theresa and Terri and the whole Jacksonville group for the supplies and for all you do!!!

Warm Sunshine. . .

This morning I was awoken to the sounds of my little niece saying hello. Of course at seven thirty in the morning I wasn't completely sure that she was as cute as she usually is to me. My sister her wonderful mother was completely awake, alert and ready to face the day, make breakfast, get packed to go home, all those things, and really what I wanted was to get some coffee!! My mother joined the group sitting around the couch where I had been sleeping and started ready Calianna her "Foot Book." That was of course great also first thing in the morning, hearing her voice reading small foot, big foot, left foot, right foot. . . then my mother thought it was funny to say that I must have read that book wrong as a child and gotten confused with my right and left foot. True, I have a hard time remembering my left from my right, what a great reminder being barely awake. Of course a little coffee in me (although they drink half and half here in good ole' Bethel) and sitting on the front porch surrounded by flowers such as these helped waken me from my stupor and enjoy a warm morning in the sunshine.